Breathing again.

You know, it's interesting... as soon as I finally make my overwhelmed feelings public.. I feel as though the very next day I experienced a huge relief.

I got a glimpse of my life after the storm .. and just a general feeling of overall calmness (is that even a word? lol) and control.

Then I remembered that life is always going to present you with some kind of storm.. and maybe "storm" isn't the best word for it. The sensation of being trapped in a storm is just more apparent at times. There will always be a million things to take care of, and places to be, and people to see.. and honestly, I am so thankful for that.

I had my third day of work as a pediatric nurse yesterday and already, in three days, I feel SO much better.. I love it even more. It still gets crazy.. I had three students of my own! Besides taking care of the patients of course.. But it's certainly my calling and what I really believe I'm supposed to be doing with my life.

I ran into a former psychology teacher of mine today and suddenly found myself deep into a wonderful and uplifting conversation. We talked about my life and dancing, my career.. his life and teaching (he dances a little bit too!) We talked about the relationship between the medical and psychology worlds.. and the new research going on in that field.. the compassion and lack thereof in nursing... focusing on the sociopsychological aspects of caring for patients and how that can be so easily neglected.. he asked me questions about a patient with neurological problems and head injuries and what that patient might expect in the hospital, which actually led to some really interesting conversation. He's writing a novel and struggling with a certain scene and needed some of the medical/technical information that certain situations would require, and also conventional ideas on dealing with patients in comas..

It was exciting to be able to have an intellectual conversation with someone and combine our knowledge of medicine and how people function, emotional states, what humans need in order to survive.. how people deal with living in constant states of stress.. and those who do so without even realizing it.

I love getting into those conversations and almost surprising myself with the extent of knowledge I have gained, feelings/opinions I have on different things.. and even more, questioning myself and developing new thoughts and ideas.

Overall, I am so thankful for where I am in my life, for all the wonderful people and experiences God has provided for me. Sometimes I am amazed with how strong love is... it can be overwhelming to feel it so strongly, for everyone in my life, as well as from them. Now I can be "overwhelmed" with that and I'd say that's certainly a change (or rather, a re-realization) for the better. :)